Is Counselling for Me ?

Venturing into the unknown is filled with much ambivalence whatever the chosen path may be.

When we consider counselling, we think, yes, it's a brave and courageous decision. But we can also feel very unsure and frightened, and put it back to the bottom of our list of priorities, tell ourselves that things are fine, only to find ourselves still stuck in despair some weeks or months down the road.

Where would I even begin ... ?

One benefit of helping decide that counselling is the way to go is arriving at some clarity on what we want out of counselling, having a specific problem pinpointed.

But what if we don't ?

For many, not being clear on what's wrong becomes an obstacle to addressing our happiness "I don't know what's wrong with me?"

But would it surprise you to hear that the majority of my clients do arrive not knowing what is wrong ?

"Things are good, my work, my family, yet I feel so sad..., or lonely..., or angry"

"I should be grateful, things are going so well for me at the moment, yet I feel like there is something missing in my life"

"Things are going so wrong for me lately, but I just don't know why!"

Curiosity and information that comes from the not knowing !

Ask yourself, can you speak with ease on subjects that do not involve you directly, but find you avoid any conversation that involves uncovering anything personal?

A useful starting point with a client is to see what information can be got from 'the not knowing'. Everything is information. An approach with curiosity, and exploring what's not wrong can bring clarity, and what is ! So for example, moving closer towards pinpointing maybe a personality trait that doesn't suit the role that we play in our job, rather than thinking that we are not good at our job. A fear of loneliness or rejection that prevents us from moving on in relationships, rather than thinking that we are just unlucky in love and destined to be alone for ever.

I've been so hard on myself ...

Pinpointing what has us distressed and rewriting this information at a truer level can bring much relief, happiness and benefits for people, helping them make better choices and decisions with their lives. Figuring out what is wrong is the counselling piece of the work. Uncovering at a deeper level why the distress has come about for a person is the psychotherapy piece of the work. Building trust and belief in the counselling room is building trust and belief in yourself. Counselling can not only be one of the most open and honest experiences you may have with an individual, but also an experience where you are learning all about you, and putting yourself at the top of the list of priorities.